


Let Us Learn How To Love Together

by My_Life_Is_A_Fandom



Category: Original Work
Genre: Age of Consent, Another Trigger Warning, Current Child Abuse, DARK PLOT AT THAT!, Fluff, Gay, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Ship My Own OC's, I Think I'm Done Tagging For Now, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'll Possibly Add More Later, Knife Play, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Read at Your Own Risk, Smut, Starvation, This Is Honestly A very Dark Demented Story But I'm Pretty Sure It'll Get Beter, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Very Depressing But Also Very Sweet, WHO PUT PLOT IN MY PORN?, Why Did I Write This?, Yaoi, age gap, hurt comfort, no seriously, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-01-20 06:58:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12427362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Life_Is_A_Fandom/pseuds/My_Life_Is_A_Fandom
Summary: Both Levi and Ryan have had a rough up bringing, Levi being 26, has over come it. While Ryan only being 17, still has a way to go. Both males fear love, but so desperetly crave it. Ryan is new to the Lakewood High School, and gets sent to the nurses office with bruises all over his body. There he will meet Levi, the rest...well, you'll have to read to find outTRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!! You have been warned!





	1. Chapter 1

**_Meet The Main Charecters!_ **

 

**_Ryan Joseph~_ **

 

_**Basic Information~** _

Gender- Male

Age- 17(Looks older, like 19-20ish)

Birthday- 01/08/2000

Race- White

Simple Discription- Ryan is a quite feminine looking male, he may have a beautiful face but he is a very sassy, disobediant little shit. Everyone finds him unaproachable which is just the way he likes it.

_**Physical Features~** _

Height- 5’4

Weight- 110lbs

Eye Color- Bright Blue

Hair- Blue with Black, Short like a male pixie cut

Body Type- Scrawny and thin, but has obvious muscles

Facial Feature- Round, slightly square

Distinguishing Features- Big blue eyes, and his nicely shaped ass

Skin Tone- Slightly tan, but not to much

Dress Style- Always wear longsleeved shirts and pants, Always.

Acsessories- Left ear piercing

**_Life~_ **

Strengths- His perserverance to keep moving forward

Fears- His inability get get close to others, Let his gaurd down, Being touched without permission

Hobbies- Activily avoiding his house as much as possible

Habbits- Scratching at arms unconciously, swearing/getting angry when threatened or scared

Home Discription- Home is where the heart is, his heart is far, far away.

**_Attitude~_ **

Personality-

What everyone sees'- Strong, independent, fearless, doesn't need anyone, perfect home life  
The truth- Constantly scared, shitty home life, all he wants is to feel loved

His motivation for the future- To. Get. Away. From. Stan.

Discouragement- People seeing through his lies and fake personality

Intellegence Level- Actually he’s pretty intellegent, just usually doesn’t act like it, secretly aces all his tests without much effort

Self-Control- Self-Control? What is that?(Doesn’t tollerate bullshit)

Confidence- Appears very confident, but honestly, he's just a scared little puppy who needs to be taken care of

    **_Past~_**

Greatest Acomplishment- Not dying

Other Acomplishment- Waking up every day

Best Memory(ies)- The birth of his little sister Rachel

Worst Memory(ies)- Everyday he walks into the house he’s living at

Worst Moment(s)- His every waking moment

His Biggest Failure- Not telling anyone the truth

His Secret(s)- The fact that every night he prays to not wake up, and he's actually not as tough as he portrays himself

Most Important Life Event(s)- His father walking out on him

 

**_Levi Grey~_ **

 

_****_ _**Basic Information~** _

Gender- Male

Age- 26(Looks as though he’s in his early 20’s

Birthday- 12/23/1991

Race- White

Occupation- School Nurse

Simple Discription- Levi, or Mr. Grey, is the mysterious school nurse whom no body really knows much about, he is a very attractive man but closes off from everyone who tries to get to close to him.

**_Physical Apperance~_ **

Height- 6’3

Weight- 150lbs

Eye Color- Grey

Hair- Black, straight, long enough to put in a pony tail

Body Type- Built, but with a touch of femininity

Facial Feature- Definent jaw

Distinguishing Features- Cheek bones

Skin Tone- Olive

Dress Style- Sophisticated

Acsessories- Tongue piercing, Always carries his mothers cross necklace

**_Life~_ **

Strengths- Intellegence, musically inclined, can play piano

Fears- Getting involved with someone romantically, love in general

Hobbies- Volunteering at the human society, playing the piano, gardening

Habbits- Bitting his nails when stressed or anxious, shutting people out

Pet(s)- He has a 24 year old turtle named Button

Home Discription- Lives alone with his turtle, very organized

Job Satisfaction- He loves to help people and be there for them if they need it

**_Attitude~_ **

Personality- Respectful, closed off, a good listener and advice giver

His Motivaton For The Future- To help those who can’t help them selves, and do what no one did for him

Discouragement- Disrespect

Intellegence- Above average intellengence

Self-Control- Has great self control as long as you don’t disrespect anyone in his presence, or he hears of disrecpect

Confidance- He acts like he's really confident of himself but he actually suffers from anxiety and low self esteem.

**_Past~_ **

Greatest Accomplishment- Graduating college

Other Accomplishment- Actually getting a job

Best Memory(ies)- His 5th birthday when his mother gave him her favorite necklace(shortly after she got sick)

Worst Memory(ies)-Loosing his virginity to his uncle, his mothers death

Worst Moment(s)-Finding out his mother was sick

Biggest Failure- Not telling anyone sooner what was happening with his uncle

His Secret(s)- His past

Most Important Life Event(s)- Death of his mother, graduating college, getting away from his uncle

 

 

 


	2. Dreaded First Day

_**~Trigger Warning!~** _

_**Ryan's POV~** _

I face the double doors of the highschool I will begin attending as of today. Clutching the straps of my bookbag, I take a deep breath as I push through the doors. I am instantly greeted by a large banner that read, _"Welcome To Lakewood High, Where Knowledge Becomes Power"_ I sigh as I walk up to the door that said, "Office". I hesitantly open the door and peak my head in. I see this blonde headed girl with glasses typing away at a computer. I clear my throat and she looks up at me.

"Yes?"

I walk in and shut the door behind me.

"I am here for my schedule"

"What's your name?"

"Ryan... Ryan Joseph"

She types at her computer and prints up what I assume is my schedule, she hands me the schedule and a map of the school. She smiled shyly at me.

"Why transfer in mid November, alittle late don't you think?"

I roughly opened the door and glared at her.

"That's none of your damn buisness."

I stormed out and started heading to my first class, which was Physics. I entered the room and sat down as the bell rang. The teacher cleared her throat and the class got quiet. Please don't single me out, please don't single me out, Please Don't Single...

"Alright class, we have a new student, Ryan, please stand up"

Fuck!

I slowly stand up glaring at her the whole time.I fiddle with the sleves on my flannel and grit my teeth. I see people whispering to each other and I give them a death glare. The teacher smiled warmly at me.

"Good morning Ryan, Tell us something about yourself that your proud of."

"Well, I haven't killed anybody yet so, yeah."

There were a few snickers and the teacher glared at them.

"Well that's good to hear, you can have a seat now."

I sit down and spend the whole class staring out the window.

**_~Time Skip~_ **

My last class of the day came, the one I dreaded the whole day. I walk into the boys locker room and head to the back where the teacher is, he assinged me a locker and told me to change.

"I don't have any gym clothes."

"That's ok, we have lots of extras in that bin over there"

He points to a large bin in the corner and look at him, my anxiety rising.

"Don't worry, they're all clean, we wash the used ones daily"

He smiles and stare back at his phone. I slowly walk over to the bin. I begin to feel dizzy and I was breathing hard. I quickly took a deep breath and began to dig through the bin. It didn't have any long sleeved shirts or pants, just my luck. I grab a short sleeved black shirt and the longest pair of shorts that I could find, which only came to above my knees. I go the the bathroom stall and get dressed. Once I'm changed I look at my arms and legs and cringe, There are so many bruises, some big ones, some small ones, Old and new ones. I unlock the stall and slowly push the door open. I sigh in relief when I see that everyone already left, but instantly tense up once i realize that I have to go out into the gym...around people... Damn it all! I notice the teacher in the locker room staring at me as I walk out. I head into the gym at first no one look which was good. But as I walked in it started out with one person who saw, then he nudged someone else, then one after the other everyone noticed and soon the gym teacher noticed and he told everyone to return to their warm up laps. He walked up to me and whispered in my ear.

"Lets talk in the hallway"

My heart was going a mile a minute as I walked out into the hall. Once we were out he looked at me and I swear his eyes were staring into my very soul. He looked me over and coughed, pretending to look down the hall.

"Ryan, I would like for you to go to the nurse and get an order to wear long sleeves, your br... you'll distract everyone..."

I pulled out a pass and filled it out then gave it to me, avoiding eye contact. I grabbed it, went back to the locker room, changed and grabbed all my things and rushed off to the nurses office. I felt tears gather at my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. I bursted into the nurses office startling the man sitting at the desk. He had the greyest eyes I've ever seen, they were so...mysterious...

"Can I help you?"

I looked down at the floor suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Uhm... I... I was sent here...from gym."

I could feel him staring at me.

"Oh? What for?"

I snapped my head up and glared.

"I don't fucking know!"

He looked stunned for a moment then regained his composure.

"Can I see your pass?"

I walked over to him, still glaring and handed him my pass. He looked at it, I can visibly see his expression soften.

"Can you follow me behind this curtain so that I can take a look?"

I nodded then lowered my head, following him to the curtain. He pulled it closed and turned away, faceing away from me.

"Please take your shirt off"

I played with the hem of my shirt before unbuttoning it and slipping it off.

"ok..."

I looked away as he turned around to face me. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my bottom lip. He walked over to me and gently ran his fingers on one of the newer ones on my shoulder. I flinched and yanked away from him and looked at him with wide eyes. Again tears started to well up but I binked them away. He sighed and handed me my shirt.

"Put your shirt on and come out to the room next to my desk."

He walked out and I quickly put my shirt back on and buttoned it back up before walking to the room he told me to go to. He gestured at a chair accros from him which I hesitantly sat in. I fiddled with my fingers under the table. Why am I acting so shy? What is wrong with me?

"I know we just met, and I know you probably won't trust me, but I would like for you to try to trust me and tell me what happened."

"Why the fuck should I trust you? You don't know anything! and I got these because I like to skate board and I'm not that good at it so I'm always falling..."

He sighed, and wrote a pass for me to be able to wear my long sleeved clothes in gym. He handed it to me and walked out and went behind the desk and started to write something else. I went out to the desk and he handed me a pass, as well as a note. I grabbed them and quickly walked out, heading to the nearest bathroom and locking myself in the farthest corner. I pulled out the note and read it. I saw a phone number as well as a little note.

_Call me if you ever need anything or any help._

I groaned and slipped it back into my pocket. I felt a small smile creep on my face before quickly shaking it off. The bell rang signaling the end of the school day. I grabbed all my stuff and headed out. I walked out of the school and started to walk "home". I pulled the note out and re-read it multiple times until I found myself outside my house. I quickly put it back into my pocket and took a deep breath before walking back into hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N From your beloved author...I mean of course it's from your author...it's an authors note... ANYWAY Hey guys, here it is, my first chapter. It's like 1300+ words, like this is a first for me, like, wow! Anyway, how was it? Votes and Comments are greatly appreciated! I'm now going to work on the next chapter so it'll be up between a few hours to a few months... XD No but really I'll update it as soon as posible!  
> Bai for now!


	3. This Is My Life

**_~Major! Trigger Warning!~_ **

**_Ryan's POV~_ **

I pulled the note out and re-read it multiple times until I found myself outside my house. I quickly put it back into my pocket and took a deep breath before walking back into hell. I slowly walk up to the door, I pull out my key and unlock the door before hesitantly pushing it open. When I peak my head in I see that the living room is dark, the only light coming through the blinds on the window, and the light from the bathroom. I step fully in and close the door, locking it before setting my bookbag down and walking into the living room.

"Fuck!"

I look in the direction of the bathroom and I see my fathers husband standing faceing the mirror with white foam covering his cheek/jaw. He's holding a paper towel against his cheek and I can see alittle bit of blood through the towel. He growls and glares at me. I avert my gaze and backed away. He wiped his face off and stomped towards me. I backed up against a wall and he slamed his fist against the wall next to my head. I flinched and he bit my neck and growled again.

“I got a call from the school, you fucking showed them the bruises. You wanted pity didn’t you, you little whore?! You wanted someone to save you! Do you fucking want to move again?! Do you know how much I had to work to save enough money to move us all? I should’ve left your ungrateful ass!”

I bit my lip and glanced away as he screamed insults at me. He grabbed my face and roughly made me look at him. I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered.

“Look at me bitch when I talk to you!”

I open my eyes and look him dead in the eyes. His thin lips curl into a snarl.

“I like seeing the terror in your eyes, it brings me joy to be able to terrify you this much.”

He leans in and breathes his hot breath on my neck.

“It does more then just bring me joy.”

He places his hands on my hips and squeezes as hard as he can. I yelp and he chuckles. He picks me up and carries me to my room. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, I felt like I might expload. He throws me onto the floor and slams my door shut. I scramble to my feet.

“Strip!”

He stares at me with lust and hatred in his eyes making me shudder. I guess I waited to long because he slapped me across the face and I fell onto the floor again.

“Now! Don’t make me wait!”

I quickly get back on my feet and do as he says. I really, Really hate this man! He starts walking towards me and I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what’s to come…

**_~Time Skip~_ **

I climb out of my bed once I know he’s asleep. I grab a short sleeved white shirt with a maching black leather jacket, and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans not bothering to put on any underware. I slip into my convers shoes and walk into the living room. My mom and my sister sitting on the couch watching TLC, some show about finding wedding dresses. I grab my keys and head over to the door. I turn to face my mother,

“I’m leaving”

“Ok, don’t stay out to late. Be safe.”

I walked out and locked the door. Feeling the cold air hit my face as I sighed in relief. I walked down the street not really caring where I was going. I found myself at the park that was about a mile away from my house. I sat down on the swing and stared up at the sky. The sun was beggining to set so the sky was painted with orange, yellow and blue. It was quite beautiful. I stuck my hands into my pockets and found the note that I compleatly forgot about. I pulled it out and inspected it. It was riped off from a bigger piece of paper. The hand writing was neat but looked alittle rushed. I sighed as I pulled out my phone, staring at the number on the piece of paper, then looking at my phone. I turned it on and inserted the password. I hesitated before dialing the number and hovering my finger over the call button. I don’t know if I should do this. What if it’s a wrong number? What if he forgot about me? What if...well...there’s so many what ifs. I take a deep breath and go to push the call button, but I hesitate again. I’m terrified, what am I even going to say? I quickly press the call button before I change my mind and press the phone up against my ear. It rings twice before someone picked it up.

“Hello?”

He sounded tired, I hope I didn’t wake him up!

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Oh, uh yeah, sorry to bother you but um… You gave me a note and I uh… I don’t know...I’m sorry”

He’s quiet for a moment and I go to hang up but then he speaks.

“Ah, yes! You must be Ryan! Are you doing ok? Do you need anything?”

“I um… I don’t know… what to do… I don’t know how… I feel.”

I feel tears fall down my face and I cover my mouth as I start sobbing. I uncover my mouth and clutch my chest. Why am I crying? What is happening? My chest hurts…

“Ryan…?”

“Yes! Sorry...what?”

“I said, where are you?”

I wipe my tears and look around. I spot a 7/11.

“I’m at a park right across from a 7/11…”

“A park across from 7/11...Oh I know where that is! Can you go sit outside the 7/11?”

“Yes…”

“Ok, I’ll be right over. Do you need anything?”

“No…”

“Ok, hang tight.”

By this time it was dark out and cold. I head over to the 7/11 and sit on a bench out side of it. I wrap my jacket closer to me for warmth. Ten Minutes passes and I see a car pull up and I lifted my head slightly and spot him. He grabbed something from the seat next to him and got out of the car, closing the door behind him. He rushed up to me and wrapped me with the blanket then sat next to me. He stared at me, his eyes filled with concern.

“I’m sorry, but I never caught your name…”

“My names Levi...Levi Grey.”


	4. I Want To Help Him

**_Levi’s POV~_ **

“My name’s Levi...Levi Grey”

“I’m Ryan Joseph”

He smiled up at me, it was a small smile, but a smile none the less. I smiled back at him and he quickly looked away.I look up at the sky and sigh.

“It sure is cold out here.”

“Yeah…”

I look back at him, noticing how tired he looks, and cold.

“Ok, I know how unprofessional this is, and I could possibly lose my job, but uh… do you want to come over to my house, I’ll make some hot chocolate, or coffee, which ever you’d like, and it’s definetly not as cold as it is out here.”

He ponders for a moment before shrugging his shoulders.

“Sure, I might as well before I die of hypothermea.”

He stood up and I can see that he’s shivering. We walk over to my car and I open the door for him before going to the other side and getting in. I start the car and wait for him to put his seat belt on. Once on I pull out of the parking lot and start driving to my house. The car ride was silent and after about 5 minutes we pull up to my house. I park in the drive way and we both exit the car. We walk up to the door and I unlock it. Once inside I locked the door and looked at him. I tried to figure out what he was thinking and how he felt, but he was compleatly unreadable. I sighed and led him over to the living room. He sat down on the couch, still wrapped up with the blanket I gave him. After a while he started to relax. I looked at me for a moment before speaking.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Helping me? Why are you helping someone like...me?”

I sigh again and shake my head softly.

“I’m helping you because I was you.”

He looked startled.

“What...what do you mean?”

“I mean that, I once was like you, I once was hurt very badly and made up excuses for him. I once had a hard life, and I struggled, but nobody ever helped...I was alone.”

My voice cracked and I looked away, staring at the ground. Come on Levi, we’ve been through this...It was in the past…

“I’m sorry…”

I felt his hand on mine and when I looked at him he was smiling weakly at me. I could see years of hurt in his eyes, years of pain and betrayal. I don’t know what got into me exactly but I pulled him into a hug. He was tense a first but relaxed and hugged me back. He starting sobbing into my chest and I stroked his hair and whispered reasuring things to him. Soon his sobs quieted down and he pulled away from me. He wiped his eyes and hung his head.

“I’m sorry… I usually don’t cry… I just…  I’m overwhelmed.”

“It’s ok, I understand.”

He stared at the floor and I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, want that hot chocolate I promised?”

He nodded.

“Do you want anything to eat? I don’t have much but I have some things.”

He looked at me then looked down at his hands.

“Are...you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

I stood up and held my hand out to him. He took it and I helped him up. He left the blanket on the couch and we headed towards the kitchen. I started to boil water in the kettle.

“Look around and let me know if there’s anything you’d like. I also don’t mind cooking so don’t be afraid to ask, I already have some ground beef out that I took out this morning.”

He started looking through the fridge and cabnits. Once the water is boiled I pour it in a cups and add the chocolate mix. I stir them and hand him one of the glasses.

“Careful, it’s hot.”

He grabs it and stares at it for a while.

“What’s wrong?”

“I uh… was wondering if you could… you don’t have to but… I would like for you… could you make me some spagehtti?”

I chuckled and he gave me a death glare. I put my hands up in defense.

“Sorry! I just wasn’t expecting you to ask for spagehtii. I was suprised that’s all. But yes, I can make some spagehtti.”

He smiled and looked down at his feet. I started to get all the ingredients together, I grabbed my apron and put it over my head, tying it tightly behind my back. I heard Ryan laugh behind me and I turned around, giving him a questioning look. He smiled, a genuine smile.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just, I just never pictured you in a apron.”

I smiled and went to cooking the spagehtii. He sat at the dinning room table, resting his head in his hands and stared at me the whole time. Once everything was finished I made our plates,I brought his over and set it in front of him, along with a fork.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“No thanks”

He began eating and I went back into the kitchen. I took my apron off, grabbed my plate and walked back to the dinning room table. I sat down and was about to start eating. I glance up at Ryan to see how he was doing and I notice how his plate’s almost gone. I am shocked. I watched as he quickly devoward his food. Once he was done he looked up to see me staring in amazment at him. He blushed and looked back down. I chuckled and handed him a napkin. He wiped his face off.

“Sorry… I just… I’m usually not allowed to… I don’t get food often…”

“It’s fine, I’m not judgeing you. I was just shocked is all. Do you want seconds? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t want you getting sick. If you barely eat then I don’t want to over feed you and make you get sick and throw it all up. Just let that settle for a bit… God I sound like a mom...now I’m just rambling… I’m going to shut up now.”

He started laughing. It was a very cute laugh, his face turned bright red from laughing. His laughter soon turned to sobs and he covered his mouth. I quickly got up and walked over to him. When I got close enough he grabbed me waist and pulled me towards him, almost causing me to fall. He wrapped his arms around me and burried himself in my abdomen. I hugged him back and stroked his hair. He kept saying “I’m sorry” repeatedly and I started to choke up. I felt bad for the kid. I can imagine what he’s going through, I’ve been there, I know how it feels. I just wish I could help him, I wish I could save him. I don’t want anyone to go through this. I hate seeing people hurting. It hurts me. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of his soft snoring. I smirked and pulled away from him, still keeping a hand on him so that he didn’t fall. I wrapped his arm around my shoulder and picked him up bridal style. I carried him to my room and sat him on my bed. I removed his jacket and flinced when I saw all the bruises and cuts on his arms. I pull the blanket back and cover him up, tucking him in. I sat on the foot of his bed and stared at him for a moment. He looked so peaceful. I’m tired, but I don’t know if I should sleep in my bed, or on the couch. If I sleep on the couch he might freak out that he’s waking up in a strangers bed alone, but if I sleep in my bed he’ll freak out and get scared because, well, I’m in the same bed as him.

“What am I going to do?”

I whisper and shake my head. I decide on not sleeping so I sit in the recliner I have in my room and pull out a book for me to read. I check the time, 10:00, great, I’ve got a long night ahead of me. Sighing, I flip to the page I left off on and began reading.


	5. Broken

**_~Major!Trigger!Warning!~_ **

**_Ryan’s POV~_ **

I slowly open my eyes and stretch. This bed seems softer then usual… I open my eyes fully and sit up in a panic. This isn’t my room! I let out a scream when I noticed the figure sitting in a chair across the room. The person jumped to their feet, dropping a book they were holding.

“Shit! I must’ve fallen asleep!”

I instantly relaxed once I realized it was Levi. I covered my eyes, laid back in the bed and groaned. I must’ve fallen asleep after eating. The bed dipped by my feet and I assumed it was Levi. Wait… How did I get here?

“Is… Is this your room?”

“Yes, it is.”

“How did I get here? And When?”

“Well after you were done eating you fell asleep hugging me, so I carried you here and tucked you in… I’m sorry that I ended up falling asleep… I tried to stay awake so that you wouldn’t be scared… but I failed.”

I uncovered my eyes and looked at him. His head was buried in his hands and he was shaking his head. Wait… What time is it!?

“Uh… I’m sorry, but what time is it?”

He pulled his hands away from his face and pulled out his phone, turning it on.

“It’s… Holy shit it’s Two o’clock”

“Wait, in the afternoon?!”

“Yes…”

“Fuck!”

I quickly got up and located my jacket, throwing it on before rushing out the bedroom door. Levi followed close behind.

“I’m sorry… Do you want a ride home?”

“Yes… Just drop me off a block from my house… please”

He grabs his keys and rushes out the door with me. As soon as he unlocked his car I got in, making sure to buckle in. He climbs in and turns on the car.

“About where do you live?”

I told him my address.

“Is it ok if I drop you off by the Wegmans down the street?”

“Yes, now lets go, please.”

He began driving, we were both silent the whole way there. We got to the Wegmans and he parked in the parking lot. I got out of the car, as did he. He walked over to me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I hugged him back and sighed. I didn’t want to go back, but I had to, I had to protect my sister. He pulled away but held me by my shoulders.

“Listen, never, Ever be afraid to call me if you need anything, I don’t care if it’s a school day or not. Even if I don’t answer you, leave a message, and I’ll get back to you. I’ll always be there for you!”

I nodded and he hugged me again. When he pulled away again I looked at the ground.

“Just please do me one favor.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t tell anyone, please!”

I could see sadness in his eyes, like he was afraid I was going to say that. He nodded his head.

“Ok, I won’t tell anyone, until you tell me to.”

“Thank you.”

I brake off into a sprint in the direction of where I live, not looking back. I finally reach my house, I unlock the door and enter. I close the door and hear screaming coming from my mothers room. I run to her room and I see her on the ground holding her head. Her husband, Stan, is standing over her with his hands balled up into fists. I ran over to my mom, crouching beside her, gently touching her bleeding cheek. I glare up at him.

“You said that if I let you have me you’d leave them alone!”

He stormed up to me, grabbing my hair, yanking me to my feet. He slapped me while still holding onto my hair.

“I did say that, but your fucking ass wasn’t here, so I had no choice!”

He was grinding his teeth, meaning he was Really mad. He dragged me by my hair to my room, throwing me on the floor and closing the door. I whimpered when he kicked me hard in the ribs, I swear I heard something crack. I started coughing and he picked me up my by my hair again and slammed me against the wall, punching me hard in the gut.

“Where the fuck were you?”

I didn’t answer, only to get punched again. I coughed and felt blood trickle down my chin.

“Where were you bitch? Tell. Me. NOW!”

“I… I was at a friends! Okay!”

“You, have a friend? What kind of bullshit is this? No one wants to be your friend! No body wants you! You should be privaliged that you are mine. I’m the only one that wants you! Not even your own mother wants you! I don’t even know if I want you anymore. You’re so stupid, and ugly, and I hate you! Hmmm.... Now that I think of it Rachel is turning into a fine young woman, Maybe…”

“NO! Please, leave her alone! I’ll… I’ll let you do anything to me… just please… Don’t hurt her…”

He smirked evilly.

“Anything?”

“Yes! Anything!”

“Even break your arm?”

“YES!”

Before I knew what was happening he grabbed my arm, and a hammer in my drawer, and slammed it down right in the center of my forearm. I screamed out and threw my head back against the wall. I started crying, he let go of me and I slid onto the ground, hugging my arm to my chest. He laughed and kicked me hard in the hip before walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him. My mother rushed in and knelt beside me. I could see her crying. She cupped my cheek and stroked it lightly.

“I’m so sorry… I… I told him to stop hurting you so much and he freaked out. It’s my fault he’s angry. He had a little to much to drink… I’m going to take you to the hospital… just, please don’t tell anyone, at least until I figure out what I’m going to do.”

I nod and she helps me up off the ground. She walks me out to her car and helps me in, then proceeds to climb in the other side. The hospital was only a 10 minute drive from here, but it felt like hours. We rush into the emergency room and I tell them I fell down while skate boarding. They got me back as soon as possible.

_**~Time Skip~** _

I laid in the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling, counting the little dots covering it. My mother is holding the hand that isn’t in a cast and I sigh. How did it turn up like this? My life I mean. My dad left when I was 3 years old due to my mother being an alcoholic. At the moment my father is basically a missing person flyer. He completely vanished when he left mom, I have never seen him since. Anyway, my mom has been with 10+ other men since then, all of them very abusive… towards me anyway. Now she married this guy named Stan, he’s like, 50 something, but he used to be in the military and is Extremely strong. I find it alittle weird because my mother’s only in her late 30’s, but hey, I’m not one to judge based on age, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, and I think there’s just a black hole inside of Stan. But I put up with him because he pays the bills and such, and keeps us fed. By us I mean my mom and little sister, I can only eat here about 3 times a week, and even then it’s not enough to fill me up, I just get his scraps. My life is literally hell, I just wish I was never born. Pretty much every night I pray to what ever God is up there to take me away in my sleep, but am quite disappointed to wake up in the morning. All I want is to feel loved! I want to be cherished, and cared for. I want someone to love me, and I love them back. I asked if I could get a dog or something, but Stan said he’d shot the dog to death, not caring where he hit. Nice of him, right? My mother reaches over and gently strokes my hair, I could tell she’s been crying.

“Hey baby, howare you feeling?”

“I’m feeling ok, definetly been better.”

She paused for a moment.

“Where were you for real last night?”

“Like I said, I was at a friends house.”

“Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?”

“Because I didn’t know I was going there until I called him up and he asked if I wanted to come over.”

“Oh… please try not to do that again, he could’ve seriously hurt you.”

I nodded and tilted my head back, staring at the ceiling again. I honestly hate my life. The doctor comes in and hands me my discharge papers and a script for pain killers, which I know I’ll never get. I get ready and we head out. Again, the drive back to the house was silent. Once I get inside I rush off into my room and lock my door. I check the time and it’s 7:00 at night. That took longer then expected. I wish I didn’t have the hammer in my underwear drawer, but you never know when you need to beat someone with a hammer. Wait… How did Stan know the hammer was in there? Wait… Has… Has he been digging through my underwear drawer?! That’s disgusting! I literally have no privacy. I sink into my bed and cover myself with my comforter. I let out a sigh and start falling asleep. Just then there was a loud knock on my door, I grunted and got up to unlock it. As soon as I opened it I got slammed up against the wall next to it. I sighed, knowing full well who it was. Being to tired for this I close my eyes and not respond at all. He growls into my neck.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Respond damnit!”

“I’m just tired, I want to sleep.”

He grunts and pulls away from me, throwing me onto the floor and kicking me before exitiing out of my room. I hoist myself off of the floor and shuffle back to my bed. I lay back down and cuddle up with my blanket. I feel like crying but I’m just to emotionally drained. I close my eyes and sigh. What am I going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, I know this is very dark, and demented, and twisted, but I can assure you, it will get better! I promise! Just bare with me. I’m just trying to give y’all a feel for what’s going on in Ryan’s life. I’m like, legit getting into this story, like, I’m putting so much into this story it isn’t even funny, anywho, I’m going to go now, don’t forget to like and comment if you like this story so far, and I’ll see you next chapter!


	6. Cared For?

_**Ryan’s POV~** _

Sunday was absolute hell. Stan was relentless because he couldn’t have me the day before. It’s now monday morning and I roll out of bed, groaning when I roll on my arm. I sat up and got dressed, slowly, but I did it. I grabbed my book bag and rushed to the door. Everyone was still asleep so the house was quiet. I walked out, closing and locking the door behind me. I let out a sigh of relief as I quickly made my way to school. I have to go to the nurses office to give my excuse from gym, and I am not looking forward to it. I don’t want to worry Levi anymore. After 10 minutes of walking I make it to the school and I walk in. I head to the nurses office, avoiding looking at anyone. Once I was outside the nurses door I took a deep breath and slowly walked in. Levi looked up at me and smiled, but his smile instantly dropped when he saw the cast on my arm. I looked down at the floor as I made my way over to the desk. Digging in my pocket I pull out the doctors note and hand it to him, avoiding all eye contact. I took a quick glance at him and saw him shaking his head and I dropped my head again. I could hear him scribbling away on what I assume is going to be my excuse from gym. He hands it to me.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

I shrugged.

“I was worried sick, I was afraid you got seriously injured, or worse! And it seems as though I was right about one thing! Please let me help you!”

I snapped my head up at him and I saw tears in his eyes.

“Why do you even care?! No one has EVER cared before! So why now?! Why must someone care Now!”

“I care because… well… because… I don’t know! Ok! Just… I don’t know…”

He covered his face with his hands and sobbed.

“Are… are you crying because of me?”

“I’m crying for you… I’m crying because I care about you, and I’m scared for you… I’m crying because… just because.”

I walk over to him and put a hand on his back, rubbing gently. No one has ever actually cried for me, well, other then my mother, but I think that’s just because she’s afraid of people finding out.

“I’m sorry…”

He stood up and I hugged him, burying my face in his chest.

“What are you sorry for? I should be the one sorry, for causing you so much worry.”

He pulled away and I stared into his eyes. They were red and puffy from him crying, and I felt bad.

“Don’t ever be sorry for making someone worry, making me worry. You are important, and special, don’t Ever forget that! And I’ll Always be here for you, alright!”

He hugged me again and sighed. I nodded against his chest and then it was my turn to start crying. It feels so weird to have someone care about me, I’ve never felt cared for, ever. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to feel. We hugged for what felt like hours, me being the one to pull away this time. He wiped my tears away with his thumb and I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest. His finger gently touched my bottom lip, he pulled away immedietly and looked away, I could see a faint red dusted on his cheeks. I looked down at the ground and felt my face heat up. What is this feeling? Like, I’ve never felt this way before, my heart feels like it’s going to pound right through my throat, and I feel like my knees are going to give out. He looked at me with concern filling his eyes.

“Are… are you okay? You look a bit pale.”

I blinked and went to respond but my voice got caught in my throat. Before I knew it I began falling to the ground, but I blacked out before I hit the ground.

_**~Time Skip~** _

I slowly open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I panic but then calm down once I realized that I was in the nurses office. I grunt and close my eyes again. I hear footsteps come towards me and I turn my head in the direction of the footsteps, cracking my eyes open slightly. I see Levi crouching next to me. He brushed the hair out from my face and looked at me with a worried expression. I opened my eyes fully causing him to fall back in surprise. I laughed because of the face he made while falling, and he gave me a glare in return, thus causing me to laugh harder. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the cot. He took a seat next to me and fiddled with his fingers. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and he looked nervous. I’ve never seen him nervous before… Why is he nervous? I never really looked at him, like, in the face and paid attention. He was quite handsome, he had a very defined jaw line, a slight beard, nice, long black hair, and of course, the greyest eyes I have Ever seen. He sighed and looked at me, I quickly looked away, looking at my feet and pretending to focus on a spot on the floor. But my mind kept wandering back to him. The way he makes me feel, how I feel legitimently cared for by him, how I care about him… Wait… I do NOT care about him… I shake my head and bury it in my hands, trying to cover the blush I know just spread on my face.

“Are you feeling alright?”

I pull away from my hands and look at him. before I can say anything he spoke.

“Oh my gosh! Your face is beat red!”

He placed the back of his hand on my forehead.

“You’re not running a fever. Maybe you’re just overwhelmed?”

I laugh again and go back to hiding in my hands. I am overwhelmed, with emotions that is. I’m not good with feelings, to be honest, and I’m feeling something. What is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this one's on the short side, I have a plan for next chapter and I'm not really sure where else to go with this chapter. Anywho, the next chapter is going to be Levi's POV Before Ryan fainted. So we're going back in time. I'm doing this so that we can see what Levi was feeling/thinking while all this was happening. Just telling you all this so that none of y'all get confused. Anyway, bai for now.


	7. Careing For Him

**_Levi’s POV~_ **

“Don’t ever be sorry for making someone worry, making me worry. You are important, and special, don’t Ever forget that! And I’ll Always be here for you, alright!”

I pulled him into another hug and I felt him nod. He started to cry and I rubbed circles on his back in an attempt to comfort him. I don’t want to let go of him, I never, ever want to let go, I don’t want him to be hurt anymore. I want to make him safe, I want him to live a normal teenage life, free of hurt. He pulls away from the embrace and I cup his face, wiping the tears off of his face. I never noticed, but he looks really beautiful, even though he has been crying, he still looks perfect. I slide my hand down his face, my thumb gently touching his bottom lip. I wonder what they would… I jerk my hand away and turned away, I could feel myself blushing. Why did I think that? What is wrong with me?! Am… Am I feeling something… for this boy?! I look up at him and am instantly concerned. His face was really pale, and he looked like he was going to faint.

“Are… are you okay? You look a bit pale.”

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. I saw his eyes roll back into his head and I instantly grabbed him, preventing him from hitting the floor. I carry him to the nearest cot and laid him down on it. He started snoring softly and I smiled. I walked over to my desk, sitting behind it and began to do some work. No mater how hard I tried I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him. I just, I want to be the one to protect him. I want to care for him, like no one ever has for him before. Wait… What the hell am I thinking! He’s a kid, I’m an adult. It’ll never work… Wait… Don’t think about it, shut up. Great now I’m telling myself to shut up. I sigh and try to focus on my JOB. A few kids came in, some feeling sick, one got cut in ceramics class, nothing to serious. It was around 11:00 and I was getting worried. It’s been alittle over three hours since Ryan fainted. I heard him grunt, I got up and started walking towards him. He turned his head so that he was facing me. I couldn’t tell if he was awake or asleep. I crouched beside him and brushed a stray hair out of his face. He looked so peaceful. I opened his eyes and I fell back, landing on my butt. He laughed so I gave him a dirty look, only making him laugh even more. He swung his legs to the side of the cot and sat up. I casually sat next to him, fiddling with my fingers. I feel so nervous, and I don’t know why! I never get nervous, so why now? I could feel his eyes on me so I turned to face him. He quickly looked down at his feet. After a moment he shook his head and covered his face with his hands. Is he okay? I should probably ask.

“Are you feeling alright?”

He turned to face me, his face was bright red, like, his whole face. He goes to say something but I cut him off.

“Oh my gosh! your face is beat red!”

I quickly pressed the back of my hand against his forehead, he didn’t have a fever, that’s good.

“You’re not running a fever. Maybe you’re just overwhelmed?”

He laughs and buried his face back in his hands. Maybe he’s flustered… by what? Could it be by me… wait! No! Stop thinking like that! He’s prison! Wait… the legal age of consent is 17 isn’t it? He’s 17… Oh My God STOP. I groan and he looks at me.

“What’s wrong?”

I sigh, of course he asked.

“Nothing, just thinking about, alot of stuff, at the moment”

He grabbed my hand and I looked at him. He looked genuienly concered. I looked down at his lips then back up at his eyes. I swear I’m going crazy. He bites his bottom lip, I feel a drop of sweat forming on my forehead. I don’t understand what’s going on, I don’t understand what I’m feeling. I just don’t know…

_Stop Thinking…_

I place my hand on his cheek and his eyes flutter close. I close my eyes as well and slowly lean in. Soon I feel his hot breath on my mouth and I quickly close the distance. His lips feel so soft, and they fit perfectly with mine. My mind went completely blank and soon, alittle to soon for me, I pulled away and to catch my breath. I’m the first to open my eyes. I watch is expression carefully, He looked so, peaceful, like if he opened his eyes he’d forget the moment. Eventually he opened his eyes, slowly, His eyes found mine and we stared into eachothers eyes for what felt like an eternity. I slowly removed my hand off of his face. I really have no idea what just happened, like, why did I do this? What the fuck is wrong with me!? I feel something sliding down my face. Ryan lifted his hand and wiped the tear off of my cheek. I grab his hand and pull him into another kiss. He wraps his arms around my neck, and I placed my hands on his waist. Once again, it felt like we kissed forever. This time he pulled away, looking down at his feet and blushing. He had a small smile on his face and I felt my chest warm up. I pulled him into my chest and he hugged me like his life depended on it. I’m not exactly sure what is going on right now, but, I think I’m going to try… try to let someone in for once. That’s if he wants the same thing.

“Ryan?”

I spoke softly and he looked up at me, his smile falling.

“Uhm… well… about what just happened… I uhm…”

I placed my hand on the back of my neck and chuckled nervously. I have no idea what I’m doing, or what to say. What the heck, I need to man up.

“Ok, listen… I’m not sure on what is going on, or how exactly I feel, but I know that I care for you, alot, like, I just, I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like I’d like to get to know you better. I was wondering how you felt… about… me”

I whispered the last part and he looked shocked, but his expression quickly softened.

“I… am unsure of how I feel about you, but I also feel like I’d like to get to know you… I want to know things about you that no one else knows… I’ve honestly never really cared for anyone except my sister and mother. But… I’m not sure, but I think I might care… about you… alittle bit anyway… But I definetly don’t want to rush anything.”

His blush spread all the way up to his ears, and it was cute. I smiled at him but then looked away awkwardly.

“You uhm, should probably get to class now… I’ll uh… write you a pass…”

I got up and walked over to the desk, he followed close behind me. I wrote him a pass and smiled at him before he smiled back, rushing out of the office. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I can’t believe that just happened… I can’t believe I’m actually feeling something… I actually care for someone, and they care about me, at least he said he cared… Anyway… What am I going to do, there’s a nine year difference. Not to mention, he’s a student, and I’m the school nurse! I could get fired if anyone finds out… that’s if they find out though… I’m going to cross that bridge when I get there, for right now, I’m going to try to stop thinking so much for once, and just go with what my heart wants. And right now, my heart wants to protect Ryan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, I know it’s alittle soon for them to be kissing, but I just started to write it because my heart wanted me to, so I went with it. I think it turned out pretty well! Anywho! How are y’all likeing the story so far? I’m like, actually putting so much into this that I’m Really proud of how this is turning out. I’m going to go to bed now, I wrote like 5 chapters in one day and it’s really late at night so I’m going to head to bed now, goodnight and don’t forget to vote and comment if you enjoy this story! Bai for now my lovelies~


	8. Chapter 8

~!Major.Trigger.Warning!~

Ryan’s POV~

The rest of the school day went by as a blur. I couldn’t focus, at all, LikeI can’t believe that happened, I was kissed, by the school nurse! I feel like my heart is trying to fly to… well… where ever it’s trying to go. I smile when I remember what happened, the way it felt to have his lips on mine. It wasn’t rough like everyone else who’s kissed me, it was soft, and gentle. I bring my hand up to my lip, I can still feel it, the kiss I mean. I feel my cheeks heat up and I cover my face with my hands.

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

I realize that I had stopped walking and I look up, only to come face to face with my mothers husband, my smile instantly falling.

“I just… I was…”

He roughly grabbed me by the arm, the broken one that is, and pulled me into the house, throwing me onto the ground.

“Why were you blushing!?”

“Uhm… I don’t know…”

“Why the fuck were you smiling?”

I did have a chance to respond before he kicked me roughly. I whimpered and curled up on the floor, squeezing my eyes shut. I heard him aproach me, and I opened his eyes. He grabbed my face in his hand and jerked it towards his face.

“Were you seeing somebody?”

My eyes widened.

“Wh… what?”

He smirked at me.

“So you were… Did he kiss you? Did he touch you? Did he fuck you so hard that you screamed? You know only I can do that! Only I’m allowed to touch you… You. Belong. To. Me! Got that you slut?”

I nod my head and he legs go of my chin. I stormed off into the living room and I curled up on the floor again, praying the he won’t come back. I wish Levi was here to save me! Wait… why did I think of him at a time like this?! Damnit all, curse these stupid feelings! I pull myself off the ground and hobbling in the direction of my room, my leg hurrt from being kicked, but I still walked to my room. Once in I shut the door and head over to my bed, curling up underneath my blanket. For once I actually don’t feel like dying, like, I feel like there might be hope for me… there may be a reason to live. Great, look at me, getting all sappy, Jesus I need to calm down! I sigh and let darkness take me, take me away from reality.

_I was sitting in my living room, well, my old living room. This was the first house I’ve ever lived at. I must’ve been about 6 years old. I’m on the living room floor, playing with my blocks when Richard, or daddy, as he likes me to call him, comes in and sits next to me. he watches me play for a while._

_“Hey, want me to show you something?”_

_I look up at him in wonder._

_“What?”_

_“Well, you’ll have to find that out if you come with me.”_

_He extends his hand out to me and I take it. What is it that he wants to show me? He takes me back to his and mommys’ shared room. What are we doing here? He sits down on their bed and pats the bed beside him. I jump onto the bed next to him and he smiles. He grabs my hand and moves towards him. He places it in between his thighs._

_“Pull the zipper down.”_

_“Why?”_

_“That’s where the suprise is!”_

_I hesitantly pull it down and...._

I bolt up into a sitting position. I feel sweat trickling down my face, I curl up into a ball under my covers and cried. Why do I keep thinking about that? That was over ten years ago! I sigh and wipe my tears off with my blanket. I need to get out of here! I pull myself out of my bed and quickly get dressed. I head into the living room and walk towards the front doors.

“Where are you going now?”

“Out!”

I slam the door behind me locking it, and head towards the park I went to the other day. It was alittle past 6:00. I pull out my phone, dial Levi’s number and press the call button. It rings once and was picked up.

“Hello?”

“Um… hey… it’s Ryan… I’m walking to… the park… now…”

“Are you ok? you sound out of breath?”

I realized that I was speed walking, practically jogging, and was already halfway there. I slowed down and sighed.

“Yeah”

I caught my breath.

“I’m heading over to the park, for a while, and uh…”

“Sure I’ll come over.”

“Thanks… can you… stay on the phone… please?”

“Sure, but I’ll put you on speaker so that I can get ready.”

“Alright.”

After a few minutes he speaks into the phone.

“Alright I’m about to be on my way, are you at the park yet?”

I look up and notice that I am indeed at the park. I nod but then realize that he can’t see that.

“Yeah, I’m at the park.”

“Okay, I’m on my way.”

I sit on the swing near the parking lot. I can hear the radio in his car through the phone. We don’t talk, just focus on the music. After about ten minutes I see his car pull up into the parking lot. I hang up the phone and begin walking towards it, walking alittle to fast then I care to admit. He climbs out of the car, locks it before walking towards me. As soon as he’s in arms reach I grab him, pulling him into a hug. He wraps his arms around my back and nuzzles his head into my neck. I sigh against his chest, I love this feeling, I could never get enough of it. After a while he pulled away from the embrace.

“Want to go sit on the bench?”

“Yeah…”

We start to head over to the bench. When we’re about halfway there he grabs my hand, holding it. I tilt my head up to face him, but he’s not looking at me, he’s staring straight ahead, but he has a small blush on his face. I smiled and went back to looking forward. We sit down on the bench, our hands now in our laps. I stare at my hands and sigh.

“Shit… I’m sorry, I forgot to grab the blanket…”

I realize that I’m shivering and I look at him, hopeing that he takes the hint. He laughs and lifts up his arm, I gladly scoot over to him and cuddle into his side. He rests his hand on my back and I smile again. This feels so… nice, so natural. After a while I could tell that he was getting cold because he was shivering as well.

“Do you wanna… go back to… your house?”

“Yes!”

We got up off of the bench and walk to his car. He, like the gentle man he is, opened the door on the passenger side for me, before heading to his own side. He starts up the car and turns the heat on full blast. The drive was silent, except for the radio. He pulls into his drive way. We got out of the car and head inside. I instantly head to the couch, grabbing the blanket and curling up underneath it. He sits down next to me. I position myself so that my head is resting on his thigh. He gently strokes my hair, have I said that I love this feeling? Because I do!

“Hey, Ryan?”

“Hmm?”

I look up at him, and boy did he look nervous. His eyes met mine and I swear I could feel myself melting.

“I uhm… well… I’m not good at this whole affection thing… and I know that this is so wrong, on so many levels, but I was wondering if I could try it… With you…”

My face heats up and I bury my face in his legs. Was… That a confession? Before he said he just wanted to get to know me… But… Wait… He probably wants a response… What should I say?

“Honestly if I was gradded on affection, I would deffinetly get a F- Just saying, but I guess, I’d be willing to give it a shot. Just… Please don’t hurt me like everyone else in my life has…”

“I promise that I won’t, so let me ask you this… Will you like to… how would you like to… Would you…”

I shake my head and laugh.

“To answer the question that you can’t ask, Yes.”

I sit up and face him. His face is beat red and he has the biggest smile on his face.  He turns so that he is facing me. I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips against mine. His arms instantly wraps around my lower back, pulling me closer. I pull away and nuzzle my head into his neck, loving this feeling. He kisses the top of my head and I smile. I have never felt this, content. I feel legitimently cared for. I feel myself drifting off, and as much as I’d like to spend the night, I have to get home.

“I have to get home…”

I mumble tiredly into his neck, and he sighs.

“Alright, just, give me a minute…”

We stayed in eachothers embrace for what I know was longer then a minute. Finally he pulled and and stood up. He pulled me by my nonbroken arm to my feet. One of his hands rested on my back while the other cupped my face. He leaned in and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He pulled away from me and sighed.

“I really wish you didn’t have to go, but I understand… Just please call me if you Ever need anything, okay?”

“Yes”

We walk to his car in silence. Once we were on the road his hand that wasn’t on the stering wheel found my hand, he grabbed it. We held hands the whole way. He dropped me off three houses down from where I lived, we kissed goodbye and I started heading back. I Really didn’t want to go back, but I must. I sighed when I reached my front steps. I really don’t want to be here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I know this is just straight out depressing, but I promise you that it will get better for my babies. I'm not fully sure when we'll find out about Levi's past, but we'll get there, for now lets all pray that my baby will get through this, (I'm talking about Ryan) Anywho! Let me know how you like this story so far, and don't forget to vote and comment and all that jazz, feedback is greatly apretiated, But ANYWAY, I'll see y'all next chapter... BAI


	9. First Date

_**Ryans POV~** _

It’s already Friday, so it’s officially been four days since me and Levi started going out. This morning was rough, it took alot of convincing to allow my mother to let me to go somewhere after school. I’m casually skipping gym… again. I’m sitting in one of the bathrooms, reading things online. The bell rang, I gathered my things and headed out to the park across the street from the high school. I sat at the bench we agreed upon and waited. You see, Levi decided that he wanted to take me out on a date, I have no idea where we are going, or what we are doing, but I’m excited. I trust that he won’t force me into anything, heck, I legitimently trust him, which is a first. I haven’t trusted anyone for as long as I remember… I hope that I’m putting my trust in the right hands. I wonder where we’re are going though… I hope it’s somewhere with food, even a convenient store will do. Oh wait… I don’t have any money… This is a date though, he should deffenitly pay. I rub my stomach and nod my head agreeing with my thoughts. I hear laughing next to me and I practically jump off of the bench. I glare at the culprit and realize that it’s Levi. I sit back on the bench and pout while crossing my arms. He laughs again and pulls me into a hug which I in turn hug him back. Curse these feelings!

“Where do you want to go today?”

I grumble.

“I don’t know, you pick… this was your idea anyway… just somewhere with food.”

He laughs once more at me and I try to pull a sad face, but I crack a smile. FEELINGS GO AWAY… I’m now officially going crazy, I’m screaming at myself… What the hell!

“I was thinking of going to Olive Garden.”

He can’t be serious. I look up at him and see that he is in fact, serious. My mouth is hanging wide open, smirking, he closes it with his hand. I pull away from him and give him my best ‘Are you serious’ face.

“Are you being serious? I have never been there, in all my life… Isn’t it like… Expensive? Are their bread sticks any good? Wait, don’t answer, I want to find out myself… But are you sure?”

He smile and nods and I hug him.

“Alright, lets get going.”

He gets up and helps me to my feet. We walk to his car which was behind the school. Once in he turns on the heat and radio and starts driving. We make small talk but not to much, due to him needing to focus on driving. He pulls up into the parking lot and we pile out. I hug my jacket close to me, I forgot how cold it is out here. He walks up beside me, wraping his arms around my shoulder and pulling me close to him. Right before we walk in he lets go of me and opens the door.

“Ladies first”

I give him my best murderous glare, which is like a puppy bearing his teeth, but hey, I tried. We get a booth in an isolated corner and I scoot in, him sitting across from me. I kind of wish he would’ve sat next to me, but it’s fine. I take in the smell of the establishment. The aromas all smell fantastic. I smile to myself and look around. There’s not that many people here but I’m not complaining. We order our food, Levi orders the Chicken Marsala, I just order a simple Lasagna. While we wait for our food I awkwardly look around. I haven’t been in a resturant in so long. Last time I was in a resturant it was when my mothers ex boyfriend, Jerald, tried buttering her up when I told her what he did to me. Of course she was ok with it. I shake my head, I can’t think about that right now. I look up to see Levi resting his head in his hand, stareing at me with a smile on his face. I blush and hide my face in my hands. I’m turning into such a girl.

“So… Lasagna”

I look up at him and laugh.

“Really, Lasagna? You are unbeleivable”

I roll my eyes at him and stare out the window. It was dark out, it look so peaceful. I wish my life was peaceful… I mean, it’s getting better. I now have a boyfriend, so that’s good. Wait… Did I just say… Oh my god! I once again cover my face with my hands. This man is really bringing out my inner female! I take a deep breath and look back up at him. He was still staring at me. Jesh, what a creep! The waiter brings over our food and I instantly begin eating, just trying to not eat like a pig and embares myself in front of all these people… Well, the few that’s here… But still!

“So what are your hobbies?”

I finish chewing and swollowing my food. I put a finger on my chin in thought.

“Is activly avoiding my “home” a hobbie?”

“Yeah, I guess so, but like, what do you like to do in your free time, other then avoiding home?”

“I guess I like to read, I also like napping, what about you?”

“I like to play the piano… Oh and garden!”

“Wait… You like to garden?”

“Yes, when spring and summer come around I’ll show you the garden in my back yard.”

“Alright!”

I hope we’re still together by then, I mean, no relationship lasts forever, right?

“What are you thinking about?”

“What!? Nothing… just the weather…”

“Okay… anyway… Are you almost done? I kinda want to get out of here soon…”

I look at my plate to see that I already finished.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

He pays and we head out. As soon as we get to his car he grabs me and pulls me into a kiss. I was startled at first but soon relaxed and wrapped my arms around his neck while his hands found their way to my waist. Somehow out little passionate kiss turned into a full blown make out session, which I wasn’t complaining. I tangled one of my hands in his hair and his hands slid down to grope my ass, not sexually, just...I don’t know… exploration wise? Wait no, that doesn’t sound right. He pulled away panting and I pressed my forhead against his chest, feelings the rise and fall of his chest.

“I’m sorry… I just couldn’t resist… You looked so damn cute… I just… I didn’t scare you or force you did I?”

I shake my head and hug him closer. He’s warm…

“You didn’t force me… I actually liked it… Like… I want to try all sorts of things with you… N… Not saying right now… But later on maybe… Anyway It’s totally fine!”

I felt the rumble in his chest as he laughed. He pressed a gentle kiss ontop of my forhead and I smiled. I really like this… I really like him… Everything about this feels right, even though it’s wrong due to the age gap… And how he’s the school nurse and I’m a student… ANYWAY damnit… I did it again didn’t I… I just screamed in my head… and now I’m talking to myself… I’m going to stop. He pulls away and I pout. He leans in and kisses my cheek before opening the passenger door for me, then proceding to the driver side.

“Do you want to go to my house, or yours?”

“Honestly, I want to go to your house, but I Have to go back to mine. Other wise something bad might happen.”

He sighs and back out of the parking lot and we begin to drive to my house. He parks at the usual spot three houses down. He looks at me and sighs.

“I really wish that I could take you back to my house and keep you there forever, but I understand that you need to protect your family, just as soon as your ready to do something about it and get him out of you and yours familys life, let me know, and I promise you I will do everything in my power to get you out of there safely, okay?”

I nod and he leans in, giving me a quick kiss before I get out and driving away. I shove my hands into my pockets and walk “home”. I unlock the door and walk in. It’s 5:30 so I doubt anyones asleep. The house is strangly quiet, I head over to the living room and see a note.

_Hey hunny, me and Rachel are heading out to see a movie, we’ll be back roughly around 7:00pm, good luck and we’ll see you soon. Love, Mom_

I feel my heart race, that means I’m alone with Stan… Last time I was alone with him I couldn’t walk for a week…

“Hey, welcome back~”

Well, here goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, here is my fluff, enjoy it, love it, you never know, it may not last long, heck I don’t even know what’s going to happen,  
> but A N Y W A Y Don’t forget to Vote and Comment and all that good stuffs, and I’ll be seeing you next chapter!


	10. My Life Is A Problem

**_Ryan’s POV~_ **

The weekend was absolute hell. When I got back from my date on friday I was left in the house with Stan, alone. I really hurts to sit down now, not to mention I now have a black eye, swollen lip, and a big ol’ bruise on my shoulder, then is kinda sort’ve noticible. Saturday I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, and I had my phone confiscated. Luckily for me Levi’s number isn’t saved in my phone, and I delete it everytime I call him, so there’s no evidence. Sunday was the same thing. Except I was locked in the basment all day, of course without food, and in my underwear, so I was freezing my little ass off. Well I wouldn’t say little, because I got a pretty big ass… but yeah. Monday through Wednesday were just like anyother day, The typical beating here and there, insults thrown at me every so often, and other things. I barly got any sleep so I’m absolutley exhausted. I’m currently trying to push it through 5th periode so that I can ditch lunch and go to the nurses office to sleep. I like eating, but sleeping is more important. As soon as the bell rings I make my way to the nurses office. I bust through the doors causing Levi to jump.

“Sorry…”

He looks at me with a worried expresion and I drop my head, looking at the ground.

“What do you need?”

“I uh… Can I please sleep… I’m tired…”

He gets up and walks over to me. I feel his hand on my chin and he lifts my head making me face him. He glances around to double check that no one is in there before leaning in to kiss the bruise under my eye, then the one on my shoulder, well, what was showing of it, then he very gently kissed my lips. He pulled away and walked me over to the cot in the furthest corner and sat me down on it. He closed the curtain around the cot and sat next to me. I lifted up his arm and snuggled into his chest. He protectivly wraps his arm around me and kisses the top of my head. I smile and sigh. I swear just being near him causes all of my worries and fears to disapear, well, most of them. I pulled away from his arms and climbs in his lap, stradling him. The shock on his face caused me to laugh before I burried my head in his neck. He smells good… He rests his hands on my lower back while his head rests on mine. I close my eyes and relax, feeling all tension leave my body. Before I know it I’m drifting off.

**_~Time Skip~_ **

I woke up curled up on the cot in the nurses office. I sit up and rub my eyes, yawning. The curtin is closed so I stand up and open it. Levi is sitting at his desk typing on his computer. My head hurts like hell and my mind is in a fog. I walk over to the desk and lay my upper body on it, burying my head in my arms. I feel a hand pat my head, and I assume it’s Levi’s. I groan and look up and see Levi looking at me.

“What time is it?”

“2:55… I was just about to wake you up.”

I groaned again.

“I slept the last part of the day away… what the hell.”

I grabbed my stuff when the last bell rang and started to head out. Right before I headed out the door I turned to face Levi.

“I’ll call you later, bye!”

I rushed out and began my journey home. I really didn’t want to go, but I know I had to. I reach my house and unlock the door. I walk in and close and lock the door behind me. I hear stomping coming towards me and I sigh, here we go already…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this chapter is incredibly short, this was just a filler chapter. I think I have something planned for either the next chapter or within the next few chapters. So yeah, like always, Vote and Comment if you’re enjoying this story and yeah, I’ll see y’all laters~


	11. In His Arms

 

**_~Trigger Warning, Mentions Past Abuse~_ **

**_Ryan’s POV~_ **

It’s been exactly 3 weeks since me and Levi began dating and so far it’s been pretty good. It’s Saturday and I convinced my mom to let me spend the night at a friends house. I’m currently sitting on a bench in the park we always meet at. I occupy my time watching my breath in the cold night air. He pulls up and I walk to his car. He climbs out of his car and pulls me into a tight embrace, my arms instantly wrapping around his back. He kissed the top of my head, I smiled and nuzzled into him. He pulled away, we hopped into his car and we began driving. Today was our one month aniversary and we just planned on watching movies the whole night.

“So what movie are we going to watch first.”

“I have a few in mind but we’ll decide when we get there.”

We arive and rush into the house, tonight was particually cold, which is why we rushed. I plopped down onto the couch and cuddled the pillow. Levi locks the front door and grabs a movie binder then sits next to me. I scoot to where he is and cuddle up against him, his arm wrapping around my shoulder.

“So I was thinking of The Fault In Our Stars, The Notebook, If I Stay, Doctor Strange, The Avengers, and Iron Man the first one. Any of these sound good to you?”

“Hmm, Doctor Strange sounds good”

“Alright if you can put it in and start it I’ll get the popcorn ready and grab the candy.”

I pop in the movie and sitt through the previews. Levi comes back with the food and sits. Once the previews are done I start the movie and cuddle up with him, the popcorn sitting in his lap. Once we were finished with that movie we agreed upon The Fault Of Our Stars. There was still a good amount of popcorn left but the candy was almost gone. About halfway through the movie I laid down so that my head was resting in his lap while still facing the TV. At the end of the movie I was in tears. That was so… sad… Levi chuckles and strokes my shoulder. I pull away from him, giving him a dirty glare for laughing, then curling up on the other end of the couch, hugging the pillow tightly. He scoots towards me and pats my head.

“I’m sorry baby, but I just didn’t expect you to get emotional over a movie”

I glared at him above the pillow.

“How could I not? Why did someone have to die?”

“It just makes a story… I don’t know it ties it all together, makes it… realistic I guess”

I sit up and face him, he wipes the tears off of my face, keeping his hand resting on my cheek. He leans in slowly and presses his lips against mine. My heart is beating so fast right now. I mean, we’ve kissed before, several times, but this time feels… different. My arms wrap around his neck while his hands find their way to my lower back. I am pretty sure I’m going to have a heart attack before the night is over. I pulled away and moved to sit on his lap so that I was stradling him, then I pulled him back into the kiss. His hands slid down to grope my ass, squeezing gently. I moaned and rested my head on his shoulders, we were both panting.

“Are you... okay?

I nodded and he kissed my neck.

“Do you think you’re… ready… I mean… with what could happen?”

“Yeah.”

I practically whispered and he kissed my neck again.

“Just tell me when you want me to stop.”

“Okay… I will”

“Okay, hold on…”

I wrap my arms around his neck and he stands up. I pull away from his neck and kiss him. It was rough but passionate. He walked to his bedroom, only bumping into a few things on the way. Once in he closed the door with his foot and pulled away from the kiss, then laying my down on to the bed. I unwrap myself from him and he stands up, grabbing the hem of his shirt. He looks away from me and pulls it over his head, tossing it somewhere in the room. He’s still not looking at me, so I sit up and run my hands down his chest. His whole top half is covered in scars. I look up at him then lean in and kiss the biggest scar which is right by his collar bone. I pull back and shrug my jacket off, then take my shirt off as well and throw them where his shirt is. He pushed my back onto the bed and kissed me roughly. His hand moved down my torso and to the button of my pants. Unbuttoning them he pushes them down. He pulls away from the kiss to pull them down all the way, along with my boxers.

“Scoot up to the middle of the bed.”

I do so and he pulls down his own pants reveiling that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. He crawled onto the bed and settled in between my legs. He made eye contact with me before closing his eyes and taking me in hs mouth. I threw my head back and covered my mouth with my hands to keep from moaning. In all my life I have Never recived oral, from anyone. I’ve always given it, just not recived it. My hip insinctivly thrust upwards and he places his hand on my hip, holding it down. My hand finds its way to Levi and I rest it on the back of his head. He pulls away from me and I whimper. He smirks up at me sending a shiver down my spine.

“Turn onto your stomach and put your ass in the air.”

I do as he told and got on my elbows and knees, my head was pressed into the pillow. He grabbed my ass and I squeeked. I normally wouldn’t squeek from ass grabbing, but what made me squeek was his tongue found it’s way to my entrance. I bit into the pillow and gribbed the sheets. This is another thing that I have never experienced, I’ve never even done this to anyone but dang it feels so damn good!

“Fuck… Levi…”

He pulled away and I turned to face him. He hand his fingers in his mouth, which I’m assuming to lubricate them. He pulled them out of his mouth and I burried my face back into the pillow. He slid one finger in and I groaned. It’s not that it hurt or feels bad, it’s just I’m not use to someone being so gentle with me. After a few seconds he started moving his finger around. Soon he added a second finger and I squeezed my eyes shut. He kissed the back of my neck trying to help me relax. He added the last finger and soon it started to feel good. I moaned and pushed myself deeper onto his fingers. He removed his fingers and I felt the bed shift behind me. I turned to see what he was doing and saw that he was grabbing something out of the bedside drawer, which was a bottle of lube. His back was turned towards me and I flinched when I saw all the scars on his back. I watched as he got back on the bed. He squirted some of the lube onto his finger tips before applying it onto my entrance, then spreading the rest on himself. I rested my head on my pillow and felt him get right behind me. He gripped my hip with one hand while the other I assume was used to line himself up with me. I clenched my jaw as he slowly pushed into me. The hand that wasn’t on my hip started to rub my lower back as he eased himself in. Once he was fully in he slowly pulled out, then pushed back in. He was going very slow and gently, I loved it. Eventually the pain subsided and I got overwhelmed with pleasure. I groaned in frustration due to him going so slow.

“Go faster… please.”

He kissed the back of my neck before picking up speed. Soon he was thrusting into me with all he had, hitting my prostate every single time. I was moaning/screaming at this point. He pulled out and turned me onto my back and leaned in to kiss me again before thrusting at the same speed as before. I felt my orgasm start to build up and I groaned.

“I’m… about to… cum…”

“Me too…”

He leaned in and kissed me again while he started to stroke me in time with his thrusts. I pulled away from the kiss and threw my head back, arching my back as I came all over my stomach, not to long after I felt him cum inside of me, groaning as he did. He colapsed ontop of me, panting. He kissed me passionatly before pulling out and laying beside me. He was laying on his side facing me so I cuddled up against his chest.

“That was… Thank you”

He smiled and kissed my forhead. I started to draw patterns on his chest and he chuckled.

“Do you care about me? Like, for real?”

“Yes! I mean, I’ve never really cared for anyone or got close to anyone before. But I really care about you, and like, I just care about you so much…”

“Why do you care about me though?”

“Because you’re my fire, and my heart has been frozen for so long… wait… that was really cheesey…”

He blushed and I smiled, kissing his collar bone. He’s gently rubbing my lower back and I sigh, I love this… I notice the scar again, should I ask?

“Hey um… I’d hate to make you uncomfortable or put you on the spot, but I was wondering if you could tell me about… Like the scars and your childhood.”

He sighed and shaked his head.

“I knew one day you’d ask, but yeah I’ll tell you.”

He pulled me in closer and pressed his cheek against the top of my head.

“Ok, so when I was six years old my mother died of cervical cancer, my father grived in a way in which he took it out on me, nothing major, just verbal insults. He soon drank himself to death and then my uncle took me in, this was around age 7, closer to 8. I never liked my uncle, he was really creepy, anyway, he didn’t like me very much so he would insult me on a daily basis, which I could handle. Soon after I turned 8 he began physically hurting me, it started out small, a smack here, the belt there, I hated it but it did get much worse. Eventually he started to become sexual with me. He would invite his friends and well, they’d go at it with me. One my 16th birthday he forced me to drop out of school, that’s when it got the worst. He would starve me, abuse me worse then before, lock me in a room for days with just a bucket and a bottle of water, he also used me to make him money, meaning he made me a prostitue. Around age 17 he started using a knife on me, mainly just cutting deep enough to draw blood, but he did stab me a few times. Anyway I got out of there and got him put in prison when I was about 21, and haven’t seen or heard from him since. So yeah… that’s my story…”

“What about the scars on your back?”

“Oh, those are from multiple objects, whips, belts, sometimes a chair or paddle being broken on it.”

He hugged me very tight and I could feel his body shaking.

“I am very sorry that you went through all of that… I wish you didn’t have to go through that… but, thank you… for telling me… I know it’s hard… and I’m sorry.”

He hugged me so tight that it was hard to breathe.

“I just wish that… you would tell someone, or tell me to tell someone… I hate seeing you come to school everyday with a new bruise… I hate seeing the brokeness and hurt in your eyes. I hate seeing the fear on your face whenever I drop you off. I want to protect you, I want to help you, I want to Fix you, I mean, unfortunetly I know with what you’ve been through, you’ll never truely be fixed, you’ll never fully heal, but it does get easier… I just… I… I love you… Okay? I love you and it hurts to see you hurt”

His grip loosens and I subtly catch my breath, I tilt my head up so that I’m staring into those beautiful grey eyes. Wait… Did he just… He said the “L” word! I feel tears form in my eyes and I try, but fail to blink them away, they eventually start falling down my face. I… I’m… Loved… Wait, I should probably say it back.

“I… Love you… Levi”

I cup his face and lean in to kiss him, he meets me halfway and we kiss for what feels like hours. I love him, and he loves me back! I pull away and he presses his forhead against mine, keeping his eyes closed. Eventually he opens his eyes and meets my gaze. My heart skips a beat when I realize that he actually loves me. The way he’s looking at me… He looks at me the way lovers look at eachother. Lovers… Is that what we are? He leans in and gives me a quick kiss before sitting up to grab a blanket and covering us up. He lays back down and pulls me into him. I feel safe in his arms… I love it… I cuddle up to him and sigh. This feels so right… He kisses my forhead and I fall asleep, not caring that the light was still on in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all how was the first smut in this story? I liked it I guess, though I know later on I'm probably going to want to shot myself in the foot at how horrible it is, but yeah let me know how you liked it! Also we finally learned about Levi's past so praise be. ANYWHO Don't forget to vote and comment, let me know what's good about this story, and what can use improvments. But yeah, I'll see y'all next chapter, BAI~
> 
> Ps. This chapter is 2400+ words. This is an absolute first for me so YAY! Anyway I'm going now, BAI!!!!!!!!!!!


	12. His~

Levi’s POV~

 

“I… Love you… Levi”

 

He cupped my face and we both lean in. The kiss lasted several long moments before he pulls away. I pressed my forehead against his and kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to open them and forget how I feel at this at this exact moment. Reluctantly I opened my eyes only to meet his. I...Love him… so much. It feels so, strange to actually care for someone again. Last time I cared about someone it was my mother. I lean in to give him a quick kiss before sitting up to grab the blanket, covering us up, then laying down and pulling him into my chest. I kissed his forehead, he then cuddled up with me and sighed. After several moments I hear soft snoring and I sigh. I lightly stroke his hair, trying not to wake him up. I pull away from him a bit to get a good look at him. He really is quite beautiful, even though he is a bit thin, and there are major bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. The makeup he wore to cover up said bags was running slightly. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead and he smiles then snuggles back into me. My heart flutters a bit and I sigh. I’ve been sighing alot recently. I close my eyes and rest my cheek on his head. His hair is soft… I wish that I could make him completely mine, I wish that I could save him, rescue him from his current situation. I love him… I’ve never loved anyone who wasn’t my mom… well there was that one time, but I don’t talk about that… I’m tired… I slowly drift off into sleep

 

~Le Time Skip

 

Ryan’s POV~ 

 

I woke up on my back and groaned. I went to roll over and cuddle Levi but he wasn’t there. I instantly panicked. Was it all a dream? Did it not really happen? Was all of it a dream??? I sat up and opened my eyes, calming down when I saw that I was in fact in Levis’ room. I sighed and laid back down. I hopped out of the bed and quickly got dressed. As I exited the bedroom I heard someone singing in what I presume is the kitchen. I turned my ear towards the sound.

 

When you lose something you can’t replace.

When you love someone but it goes to waste.

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try, to fix you.

 

I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I wipe it away. I head towards the kitchen and see Levi standing at the stove in his apron. I stood in the doorway listening to the song, realizing that there was no music and it was him singing. I lean against the doorway, closing my eyes enjoying the song.

 

And I will try, to fix you.

 

I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. He jumped but realized it was me. He set down what he was holding, which was a plate, and turned around to face me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed his hands on my waist. I really like this feeling, the feeling of loving someone and them loving you back. He pulled me into a hug and nuzzled my neck.

 

“I made us breakfast…”

 

“What’d you make?”

 

“Chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs.”

 

“Sounds good, I’m hungry.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Neither of us showed any sign of moving, we just stood there in each others embrace. He placed a kiss on my neck before pulling away. He grabbed both of our plates and set them down at the table, me following right behind him. He pulls out a chair for me then sits in the chair right next to me. I grab the syrup and dump it onto my pancakes. I quickly devour, trying not to eat to fast, but I’m extremely hungry. Once I’m finished I turn to face him, resting my face in my hand. I really like his jaw line… Especially when he chews. I could watch him all day. Wait… No that sounds really creepy… He finishes up eating and faces me with a big smile on his face. I grab the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss, which he doesn’t resist. I wrap my arms around his back and he places his hands on my waist. I slide my hands down so that I’m groping his ass. He pulls away and places his forehead against mine, cupping my face.

 

“Baby, we gotta take it slow. As much as I would love to make love to you every hour of every day. I can’t, because one, I would probably die from exhaustion, and two, I really don’t want to hurt you.”

 

I wrap my arms around his neck and sigh.

 

“Okay… I understand, I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t need to be sorry,okay?”

 

“Alright”

 

He leans in and kisses me again before pulling away and getting up to put our plates away. I watch him walk over to the sink and rinse the plates and silverware off before putting them into the dishwasher. Once the dishwasher was running he walked back over to me and kissed my forehead. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in roughly for a kiss. He grabbed my waist and pulled me to my feet, never breaking contact. I wrap my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I groaned when his hands squeezed my ass. I pulled away panting and pressed my head into his neck.

 

“I thought you said you wanted to take it slow?”

 

He nibbled on my ear.

 

“I know but you’re just so… irresistible… I have a hard time controlling myself when I’m around you.”

 

“Then don’t…”

 

He growled and bit my neck causing me to yelp. 

 

“Jump”

 

I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist and he placed me on the dining room table, biting my neck again. I started to grind on him and he pinned my waist on the table.

 

“Don’t you think about moving!”

 

He pulled away from me and lifted my shirt over my head, throwing it somewhere.

 

“Get off the table”

 

I hop off the table and he roughly turns me around so that I’m facing the table. He pushes on my back so that I’m bending over the desk. I feel my pants and underwear being yanked off of me. He grabs my hands and brings my arms to my back, tying them behind my back. I groaned when I felt him seperate my ass cheek. His tongue began to work on my entrance and I moaned. He pulled away and I looked back at him.

 

“You are not allowed to make any noise, okay?” 

 

I bit my lip while his tongue went back to work. It felt so damn good. He pulled away and I felt a finger enter me. I gasped and he immediately shoved another finger in. I pulled at my hair to prevent from making noise. He was being so rough, but very gentle at the same time, like he’s trying not to hurt me but dominate me in other ways. After I was stretched he entered me and I banged my head against the table. He leaned over me and put his hand on my forehead, pulling it back. This… This is hot… Like wow! He kisses the back of my neck, causing me to shudder. I bite my lip again attempting to not make any sounds.

 

“You can make noise now… Let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.”

 

He started thrusting into me hard and I screamed out.

 

“FUCK!!!”

 

He sucks on my earlobe, moaning occasionally, and let me tell you, there’s nothing hotter then the guy topping moaning, especially with a deep voice. I begin to moan like a girl… A manly girl… and I think that edges him on.He untied my arms then stood up straight and grabbed my waist then turns me onto my back. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a rough but passionate kiss. I start to feel my climax coming, and I assume it’s the same for him. He reaches between us and starts to jerk me off. After a few moments I pulled away from the kiss and moaned my loudest yet, coming onto both of our chests, Levi following soon after. He gently pulled out of me and hands me my clothes, it was then that I realized that he was wearing all of his clothes still. I just throw on my shirt and underwear and go to stand up, but unfortunately my legs weren’t having any of that and gave out on me. Luckily Levi caught me in time and carried me to his bed. He laid me down and laid down next to me, pulling me into a cuddle. I cuddle against his chest and he sighed.

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

I looked up at him and I could see tears forming in his eyes.

 

“For what?”

 

“I shouldn’t have done that… I could’ve hurt you… I could’ve triggered you… I’m sorry…”

 

“First off, I’m not hurt… Second I wasn’t triggered, and thirdly, I loved every bit of it! The way you were gentle with me, while being rough at the same time. I’ve never experienced that. It was either gentle, or rough… Not to mention none of the other guys loved me… I know you do… And that makes it special for me… Okay?”

 

“Okay…”

 

He kisses my forehead and sighs again.

 

“You should get that checked out.”

 

“Get what checked out?”   
  


“Your sighing issue… I’m confident that it’s not healthy to sigh as much as you do.”

 

He chuckles and I feel his chest vibrate.

 

“You’re silly… and I love that.”

 

We lay there and cuddle for a while before it was my turn to sigh.

 

“I should probably get back to the house soon…”

 

“Yeah… I suppose you’re right.”

 

He climbs out of bed, pulling me with him. We head back to the dining room so that I can get the rest of my clothes. Once I’m dressed we get our shoes on and we head out. When we get to the usual drop off space he leans in and kisses me.

 

“Remember, call me if you need anything.”

 

I smile at him before climbing out of the car.

 

“I will”

 

I close the door and he drives off. I sigh as I began walking the rest of the way home. Not bothering to go fast at all. I really don’t want to go back… I wish I could just stay with Levi forever…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, look, more smut. I just really wanted to show the part of Levi that likes to be controlling and such, anyway, let me know what you think by Voting and Commenting and I’ll see y’all in the next chapter <3


	13. What Have I Done?

**_~Major! Trigger! Warning!~_ **

_**Ryan’s POV~** _

It’s been 37 days since me and Levi began dating, and today is his birthday. It took a lot of bribing to be able to spend the night at my “friends” house seeing as it’s the day before Christmas. I’m sitting at the usual bench in the park, watching my breath in the crisp nights air. I huddled in my jacket, the one that Levi bought for me… yes he bought me a jacket, a warm one to. Anyway I closed my eyes and sighed. We’ve planned the day to be where we literally watch movies all day and cuddle, which I am down for. I felt someone wrap their arms around my shoulders and I jumped. I open my eyes to see Levi, I instantly calmed down. I snuggled up against him, feeling the heat radiating off of him. He kissed the top of my forehead and I smiled.

“Wanna get going?”

“Yes…”

We got up and got into his car then drove to his house. Once we’re there and inside I pull out the card I made him. I held it shyly behind my back. What if he doesn’t like it? What if it’s to cheesy? He walks up to me, cups my face in his hands and kisses me. When he pulls away I hand him the card. He opens it and his face gets red. When he was done reading it he pulled me into him for a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and he holds me close. He pulled away and buried his face in my neck and mumbled.

“Thank you baby… that means a lot…”

This time it was my turn to blush. I love it when he calls me baby, it makes me feel special.

“You’re welcome”

He pulls away and drags me to the couch. I sit down and he pops a movie in then cuddles up with me. He has one of those reclining couches and it’s really comfortable. I snuggle up with him as we watch the movie. It’s some sort of Christmas movie with these to brothers and their mother, it’s a claymation movie… At least I think that’s what it’s called. Eventually I hear light snoring and I look up only to see Levi with his eyes closed. I sigh and cuddle back into him, feeling my eyelids get heavy. Right as I started to fall alseep I whispered.

“Happy birthday Levi…”

Then I fell asleep.

_**~Time Skip To The Next Day~** _

i woke up alone on the couch with a blanket covering me. I groaned and stretched. I wonder where Levi is. I heard something from the kitchen and I turned my ear to listen.

For we all have our nightmares, even me my dear

From now on if you need me, you can sing this song

There’s a light in the hallway, burning all night long

So count your blessings everyday

It makes the monsters go away every

And everything will be ok

You are not alone

You are right at home

Goodnight.

I know that’s him singing, and let me tell you, he has a beautiful singing voice, and I love it. He walks in carrying two cups of what I presume is coffee. He sits next to me, places the cups on the table and pats my head. I lean in and give him a quick kiss.

“I really like the card you gave me, heck I love it.”

I smiled when I noticed it was on his TV stand. He lifts up his arm and I cuddle up with him. He strokes my shoulder and I sighed.

“I love you…”

I burried my head in his chest and blushed.

“I love you to…”

I love being with him, heck, I’m in love with him…

“What time is it.”

“It’s… 12:34”

“Oh shit… I have to be home about 2 and a half hours ago!”

He huggged me against him tightly and I felt his shoulders shake. Is he… Is he crying?

“I’m sorry…”

“It...Its fine...lets just get going then.”

He released me and I got up. His eyes are slightly red and I feel guilty. I hang my head as I began packing my stuff up and then stood by the door. I looked up at him and he avoided eye contact with me. The drive back was silent and he kept his eyes on the road. Once we arrived at the house we usually drop me off at I quickly get out of the car. I watch as he drives off. I wonder what that was about… I feel like it’s my fault… what if he doesn’t love me anymore? What if he never did? Are we breaking up? I feel tears form in my eyes as I walk the rest of the way “Home”. I don’t even bother wiping the tears from my eyes as I enter my house. I speed walk to my room and lock myself in. Stan doesn’t get back until 4 so I have alittle time to myself. I curl up under my blankets and let the rest of the tears out. I’m so stupid! I just… What is so wrong with me?! I cuddle up with my pillow as the last tears fell out. After a while I fell to sleep.

**_~Time Skip~_ **

I woke up feeling like shit. I looked at my phone and saw no texts and it was 3:00. I sigh and pull myself out of bed. I look in the mirror and instantly begin to cry. How could I let this happen? What have I done? What is wrong with me? Instinct kicks in and I head to the bathroom. My mom and sister are sitting on the couch watching something and I sneak into the bathroom silently. I close the door behind me, I open the cabinet and find exactly what I’m looking for. I grab a cup, filling it up with water and set it on the counter. I then grab the bottle of pills, open it and shove all of them in my mouth. I grab the water and down the pills then sit on the toliet. About 25 minutes go by and I start to feel dizzy. I smile to myself as I know it’s started working. I begin shaking and my head feels like it’s been hit with a brick. I cry out as I crumple onto the floor in pain. I hear knocking on the door before slipping into hopefully a darkness that’ll be forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, I know I changed when Ryan got there from December to November but it fit better with the story. Anyway, I hope you like’d this chapter. Y’all should feel lucky because I’ve been expeiencing major writers block so here it is. And I’ll see y’all next chapter!


	14. Where Is He?

Levi’s POV~

It’s been over a week and I haven’t heard anything from Ryan, and he hasn’t been in school. I don’t call him because, well, that’ll look weird. I decide on calling his parents. I dial the phone and sigh as I press the call button.

“Hello…”

The man on the other end sounded bored and it took all i had not to get angry, I don’t know why but, I’m already frustrated.

“Um, Hello, my name is Levi, I’m the school nurse here at the high school. I was wondering about the whereabouts of your son, Ryan Joseph?”

“He tried to kill himself, what a weakling right.”

I feel my heart drop. He… he tried to… no… it’s my fault isn’t it. wait… did he just call him a weakling? I take a deep breath and answer as calmly as I could.

“I think it actually takes strength to do that, take your own life, and obviously something must’ve happened to push him to that point, and he put up with it until he couldn’t anymore, so that takes strength.”

It got quiet and I heard a beep… He hung up on me? What a bitch! I sigh as I turn hang up the phone and return to work.

~Time Skip~

I anxiously await for the school day to be over, as soon as I’m finished with my work I gather my things and head out, not bothering to put on my coat. I rush to my car and get it. It only takes 5 minutes to get to the hospital due to the town being so small. I get to the hospital and practically run in. I reach the front desk and catch my breath.

“Does Ryan Joseph have any visitors?”

The nurse looked at the computer and shook her head.

“No, he’s in room 223, to the right.”

I nod and thank her then walk, a little fast, to the room. Once I was outside the door I placed my hand on the door and pressed my ear up against it. The room was silent so I slowly opened the door. I peaked my head in and saw that the room was dark except from the light coming from the corner of the room. I head to the corner and saw a bundle of blankets in the shape of a person in the corner. The blankets shift and I clear my throat.

“What do you want?”

“I uh… wanted to come and check on you…”

“Why did you ignore me?”

He sounded so shy and scared. I sat next to him and pulled his head into my lap. He relaxed into my touch and sighed.

“Why did you ignore me? Please… tell me…”

“Baby I wasn’t ignoring you… I forgot to take my meds that morning and ended up having an anxiety attack that turned into a panic attack.”

“Oh… I’m sorry…”

I sigh deeply, contemplating my next move. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. 

“If you are truely sorry, then you would tell someone, or have me tell someone…”

He grows silent for a while, I thought he was going to freak out or something until he breaks the silence. 

“Ok… But only after my birthday, I want to be 18 when I do this.”

“Alright… that’s better then never.”

“But what do I do and where will I go?”

“Baby you can always come stay with me, my home is your home.”

“Ok… But...”

“No buts, we’ll deal with that when we get there, for now lets just enjoy this moment.”

He sighs and I begin to pet his hair. I wish he’d tell someone sooner, but atleast e’ll tell someone… so all is good…

“I love you Levi… Like alot…”

“I love you to, just please don’t do that again, you scared me”

“I’m sorry… I’ll do my best…”

“Ok, as long as you atleast try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I know this is short but here it is, writers block is kicking my ass but I'm trying so, hope y'all liked it and let me know y'alls idea. Bai for now~~~


	15. Almost There

~ ** _!Trigger!Warning! (this will get graphic!!!! I know this whole thing has been bad but this is going to be the worst yet)_**

**_Ryan’s POV~_ **

It’s been two days since I got out of the hospital. Levi gave me some cameras to put in my room to catch what happens. I rush home from school to get the cameras set up. As soon as unlock the door and walk in I get slammed up against the wall next to the door. I sigh and drop my book bag onto the floor.

“I’m gonna have you now bitch!”

He spat in my face as he spoke and I shivered. Even though this all sucs it’s been getting easier to deal with ever since I found Levi.

“Whatever, just make it fast, I have homework.”

He pulled away from my neck and growled.

“What’s gotten into you recently?! You haven’t been as much fun as of late!”

He smiled wickedly causing my to shrink internally.

“I’ll just have to push you harder!”

He grabbed me by my waist, picking me up then carrying me to the kitchen. He grabbed a small sharp knife then proceeded to carry my to my room. I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye and she looked shocked. This honestly isn’t the first time he’s brought out the knife in our “fun” time, but it’s been awhile. I am really not looking forward to it. He threw me onto the floor, slamming the door behind him.

“Get up and strip”

I scrambled to my feet and striped out of my clothing as fast as I could. When I was naked he smirked causing me to almost gag.

“Now turn around, bend over and put your hands on the wall, arching your back.”

I did as he told and I felt a sharp pain spread throughout my back. I bit my lip hard to keep from screaming. I shivered when I felt his tongue run along my back. This felt so wrong. I hate this! Ok, only a few more days until I get out of here, i just have to push through

“Who do you belong to?”

Levi

“You”

“Good bitch still know his place.”

He walk away and grabbed the ball gag and blindfold. I really hate that thing. He walked back over to me then proceeded to put the gag and blindfold on me.

“Don’t even think about making a sound.”

I felt the knife dig deeper into my skin and I whimpered, only to get a hard slap to my ass. I bit down on the gag and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt blood trickle down my back and his fingers ran along it. He smeared the blood at my entrance and I braced myself. He pushed into me, hard, forcing a scream to come out through the gag. I then felt the blade of the knife on the side of my throat, to which he proceeded to slice, not deep enough to kill me, but deep enough to hurt, alot. I bangged my head on the wall to prevent any sounds. He thrusted into me hard and fast, and man did it hurt. I miss Levi… Just the thought of him made this less horrible. I felt him untie the gag and I wiped the saliva off of my chin.

“Now who do you belong to again?”

“You…”

Another hard slap

“I can’t hear you?”

“You!”

“Ok, good now you’re not allowed to come so don’t you dare.”

He started rubbing me and I bit my lip. This really isn’t that hard, all I have to do is think of his face and boom, soft. When I felt I was close I thought of him and instantly didn’t need to release. After a few moments he finished and pulled out of me, causing me to crumple onto the floor.

“Get cleaned up, and try to get the blood out of the carpet.”

I heard the door slam and I pulled the blindfold off. I got up off the ground and looked in the mirror. My lips were swollen and bruised, there was a large gash on my neck, and I had an obvious hickey on my neck. When I turned around I saw cuts on my back, big enough to leave a scar. I sighed then proceeded to get dressed. I pulled on my underwear and shorts and walked out of my room to grab my bookbag. My mother gasped when she saw my back and I rolled my eyes before heading back to my room. Once in I locked my door and began setting up the cameras. I hid one in my bookshelf and one under my bed. As soon as I had them connected and such I laid down in my bed, not lying on my back and stared up at the celling. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this, I’ve lived with this most of my life, it’s just, I’m so used to it by now. I might actually get away. I pulled out my phone and texted Levi asking if he could pick me up at the park and help me get pictures. Which he quickly responded a yes. I hurridly got dressed the rest of the way and rushed out the door. I got to the park in under 20 minutes and saw Levi sitting on the bench waiting for me. I smiled and rushed to him he stood up and I hugged him. When he hugged back however I flinched because, well, my back hurt. He took note of this and pulled away.

“What’s wrong?”

“My back hurts.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, lets go.”

We headed off to his house and when we were inside I shrugged off my jacket and saw that the inside of it was soaked. I sighed and set it n the floor, inside up, and walked over to Levi.

“Alright, what do you need help getting pictures of… Oh dear!”

I turned around to let him see my back. The whole back of my shirt was covered in blood, my blood. I grabbed the camera out of my bag and handed it to him. He quickly took the picture then set the camera down. I turned to face him and closed the distance between us, him meeting me halfway. He placed his hands on my waist and pressed his forehead against mine then sighed.

“I seriously can’t wait till you are safe in my arms, forever.”

“Me too.”

He kissed my forehead and pulled away.

“Where else do you need pictures, other then your neck?”

“I don’t know...can you… can you help me look?”

“Yes.”

I tilted my head up to allow for a good picture of my neck, which he got it. I pulled my shirt off and turned my back to him to let him get a shot of the damage. He gasped when he saw how bad it was. He took another photo of my back and walked over to me, giving me a quick kiss.

“Ok, where else?”

“My hips maybe?”

I pulled my pants down slightly enough to see that there is indeed huge bruises. He took a picture of those and set the camera down.

“I really want to hug you right now, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Can we cuddle?”

“Ok… but only if you promise to tell me if I hurt you.”

“Alright I promise.”

“Alright”

He grabbed my hand and lead me to his room. I laid down on his bed on my side and he laid down next to me. He scooted so that his head was resting on my stomach and his arms we’re wrapped around my waist. I pressed a hand on the back of his head while my other arm rested under my head. He kissed my stomach and I smiled.

“I love you, so so much baby, and I’m glad that you are finally telling someone, it brings me so much relief.”

“I love you too… I wanna spend the night here…”

“Ok, call your mom.”

“I don’t want to get up, I’ll do it later”

“Ok baby, just don’t forget.”

“I won’t”

I ended up forgeting and falling asleep


End file.
